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How are the roommates?

Why don’t you respond to the TikTok’s I send?

It was a typical call. He filled me in on what’s been going on in his world.

New job at the station.

Roommates are good.

Soon it was my turn to update him in on things here.

New projects at home.

Packing Jackson for his move to Ireland for study abroad.

Then I tell him about all the things happening with his friends from elementary, junior high and high school.

This one got married.

The other one got engaged.

This one is getting ready to have a baby.

I can remember my mother doing this. It was always news about a boy I had a crush on in 6th grade or some friend that I lost touch with when they moved away. It was harmless, but random.

“Yes, mom, I remember Ally Roschevitz, but we lost touch after 8th grade graduation when she moved to Oklahoma. Remember dad said I could make long distance calls when I start paying the phone bill.�

Of all the topics we cover during our check-in calls, I try not to ask about dating.

Jay constantly reminds me that if Jacob wants to talk about it, he’ll bring it up.

It’s not that I can’t wait for him to settle down. Far from it. He’s 25, and it’s not on his radar. Plus, he had a bad breakup a couple of years ago. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say he dated her for more than two years and she broke up with him. I knew she wasn’t the one, so it didn’t bother me. But oh, how my heart broke for my boy. I couldn’t do anything to make it better. He was an adult and living on his own. This wasn’t like the time he didn’t get invited to a classmate’s birthday party when he was in first grade. When that happened, I let him invite two friends that weren’t in his class for a sleepover. This solution just would not work in the girlfriend breakup scenario.

It didn’t take long before he started making jokes about the breakup.

“She broke up with me because she didn’t like how muscular and athletic I was becoming.�

Or my favorite.

“She was intimidated by my height.�

Even still he made it clear that he didn’t want to think about dating for a while. And he didn’t.

It took some time, but he’s back in the dating game.

Per usual, I broke my rule and asked how the dating was going. I asked if he’d met anyone special. He answered.

“I’ve started doing things differently. In high school and college, I was so focused on doing everything I could to make sure she liked me, I never took a second to ask myself if I liked her. I was putting someone else’s happiness above my own. I think it’s important to be happy with me before becoming a we. Since I’ve done that, dating is more enjoyable.�

It was like watching him take his first step or learn how to ride his bike without training wheels. It wasn’t a physical triumph, but it was just as amazing to witness. I decided right then and there to stop worrying about his dating life. He’s got it under control. Now I can worry about more productive things where Jacob is concerned. Like making sure he’s wearing sunscreen, drinking plenty of water and taking advantage of his employer’s dental plan.