Every September after Labor Day, anxiety set in as the rite of passage approached. Consumed by fear and unable to avoid it, I knew my fate was sealed.
This situation was not a dream; it reflected my reality. Over a span of 13 years, I had to begin school in a different location 12 times. For at least three of those years, I was not previously registered. Take a breath, you鈥檝e got this!
The warmth of the late summer days caused me to sweat in my newly purchased school clothes. The sizing on the material filled my nose and made me very self-conscious. Everybody else could smell it too, right? I preferred that others did not notice my new clothes, as they would set me apart from the other children. I merely wanted to blend in with the crowd and to not be labeled weird.
The roster of names would be read at the beginning of each class. I expected my last name to be mispronounced. The teachers never failed to chew it up as they tried to spit it out. Having a last name spelled with an 鈥淪,鈥 I had time to ponder whether I would accept the pronunciation as stated or correct it and have this trial-and-error volley continue after several failed attempts.
Accompanied by an unfamiliar name called out came the protracted stare from classmates wanting to see the new kid. Have you ever wished to be anywhere but where you were? Have you ever wanted to disappear? When faced with someone staring, another consideration arises: should you stare back? Do you bulldog them? Or do you politely flash a cheesy grin?
Lunch time was another challenge. My mom had given me lunch money with a ten-dollar bill. That was probably enough money to cover lunches for several months, back in the day. After being sent to the cafeteria, I ended up at the back of the line.
Unfortunately, other classes followed mine and the lunch lady was forced to try to make a change while everyone waited. And waited. And waited! This was not the way to make new friends! Finally, she gave me a lunch ticket, and I could go sit down and eat. By myself.
There were a couple of new school years when I was met by the school bully. Being an individual who never backed down from a fight, I did my best to defend myself. I would ultimately take enough punches so that I could stumble home and reflect on my first day of school. I would then get to bed early and worry about my second day.
Life is full of transitions and start overs. Whether it is starting a new school, a new relationship or a new job, most of us dread change. The uncertainty of the future prevents many of us from taking a leap of faith. The security of staying outweighs the risk of failure and disappointment. Yet, there are those situations where we are forced to forge forward with a brave face and stiff upper lip.
Many courageous individuals have ventured into unknown waters. We applaud the pioneer, the pilgrim and the prognosticator. There are those who are undaunted by the darkness and unwavering in their resolve to achieve the impossible.
We salute the valiant soldier who charges against all odds to win the battle amidst the strife. We have also been inspired by the champions of the Word of God who moved mountains with their grain of a mustard seed.
There were many lessons learned as a schoolboy long ago. I learned that I would survive the difficult circumstances dealt with me through grit and determination. Even individuals who are familiar with change may find it challenging, but it is possible to address obstacles through continued effort. There is no reason to fear the fickle finger of fate.
Jon Shonebarger is the Department of Tennessee American Legion Division Chaplain. Contact Jon at impacthought@gmail.com
